Before some people get all excited when they read this title, nope folks I'm not pregnant. I wish I could say I was, but Im here to tell all of you that we have officially begun the process of starting over with IVF. For those who need a recap or want to read about our struggles with infertility you can read that here, our-struggle-with-infertility.html.
Ryan and I have been discussing for a while now when would be the right time to try over with IVF. We knew getting through 2016 was a must, taking time to work on us as individuals and us as a couple. We fully took advantage of spending time together, doing what we wanted to do, when we wanted to do it. A couple weeks ago we had a consult with our IVF doctor in the cities. We saw Dr. Corfman a few years ago after we were unsuccessful with IVF through Mayo Clinic. The last visit with him, Ryan and I both had a good feeling when leaving his office. We liked him and his no bull shit way of doing things. We also liked that we felt very welcome there, it felt like a family and that gave us both a sense of peace, especially coming off of such a terrible experience with Mayo. Three years later leaving his office we felt exactly the same. We went over the whole process again, time line, cost and decided that it was now or never. After we left, Ryan and I headed to the Mall of America, finished up some Christmas shopping and had a nice dinner together. Reality started to sink in, sticker shock started to sink in and our dinner conversation was consumed with IVF talk, anxiety, fears, and excitement. I was nervous all morning for this consult appointment and then afterwards to it was like holy crap we are doing this again, am I ready to do this again, are we ready to do this again. Are you really ever ready to be a parent?? I dont think anyone can prepare you for what being a parent is like. I expressed my feelings to Ryan at dinner. Fears of the whole roller coaster of the IVF process, doing this all over again, spending all of this money for it to not work again. Fears of it putting a strain on our marriage like it did the first time and the fears of if we get pregnant what would our life be like, how would it affect our marriage, how would we be as parents. Ryan easily calmed my fears and expressed that we were in this together, our marriage is the strongest its ever been and that we just need to trust in God and His plans for us.
So here we are a couple days away from our first round of some pre testing before going through IVF. I started on birth control which is to help get my horomones all regulated and to help get on their time at our IVF clinic. Im not thrilled aobut being on birth control. Basically it makes me feel like crap and I just hate being on medication when I dont have to be, but its a small price to pay. I will be on this for a couple months prior to starting hormone injections to stimulate my ovaries to produce more eggs. Those said injections wont start until end of February and our fresh embryo transfer wont happen until end of March first part of April. There will be alot of prep work prior to the transfer and we plan to blog about this journey along the way. Its hard not keeping our IVF process a secret and it sucks that we dont get to be that couple that gets to have this big announcment to our family that we are expecting. We tried the first go around to not tell family and friends we were doing IVF but when things went south and I ended up having surgery it was just to big to keep a secret. We are hoping by sharing this process, this journey, we will have an added support system, that people will take a minute to say a prayer for us and that journaling about this will help ease my anxiety and stress that go along with it. Plus you can never have enough support!
Over the next couple months I plan to fully focus on kicking butt at crossfit, staying as healthy and active as I can be and enjoying our free time before our life is consumed with injections, blood draws, ultrasounds and endless doctors appointments. We found out that due to the Zika virus we wont be able to travel to the National Convention this year for Corn Growers. If the CDC were to report the virus in San Antonio while we were there are even afterwards our transfer would have to be postponed for six months. In December the virus was reported 3 hours south of San Antonio, so we basically dont want to chance it. Again another small price to pay. We are nervous yet very excited to be starting this process over again. The start of 2017 will sure be an adventure! Stay tuned!