Today February 23 marks the nine year anniversary of Ryan's accident. If you care to read about that day you can so here, the-day-our-life-change.html Ryan and I usually just take this day as just another day, but for us both and his family members its hard not to forget all that came about that day. Its hard to think how life might be completely different if Ryan didn't go snowmobiling that day, but then again we can't live in the what ifs. This is all part of God's plan for Ryan's life and even though at times we can't understand why we know that we just need to continue putting our trust in him. Im thankful for this day because its a reminder to me at how blessed we are to be here. The outcome of Ryan's accident could have been completely different and Im thankful for each and every day, good and bad Ryan and I have had these last nine years. Im thankful for the man he is today, the person he has become and I'm excited to continue to see him grow as a husband and hopefully a father.
We are coming up on month that could potentially change our life completely. We have so much to be thankful for and although nerves will be running high the end of March we can't help but be excited. We are hoping and praying that God's plan for us will be the blessing of a family. I was out for a walk yesterday and was thinking about Ryan's accident, all our IVF stuff and the fact that everyone under the sun is announcing that they are pregnant right now. A feeling of worry and heaviness came over me I started feeling more stressed and impatient. Started wondering why all of this is happening, why do we have to be the ones going through this. Wondering why all of these people getting pregnant, people who aren't married, haven't been planning for a child, just happen to have sex, not sure who the father is kind of pregnancy. Starting to wonder why those people are blessed with a child and we have yet to be. A song called Holy Spirit by Francesca Battistelli came on my iPhone and I was quickly reminded to take my focus off all the garbage and focus on the presence of God in my life. There is a line in the song that says, to be overcome by Your presence Lord. At that moment it was like God saying kid, just breath I got this, stop worrying about everything and just focus on me. So thats what I plan to do put my focus on the good Lord above. To look at this day as a day to be thankful for my life with Ryan and to be excited for the journey ahead. Yes we could choose to be sad on this anniversary date but we won't, we will choose to be thankful for this day! Hard times only make us stronger, right?!
If anyone knows my Ryan like I do you can't help but love him, his personality, his outlook on life and his wheelchair. Yes if you ever meet him he will joke about being in a wheelchair and its ok to laugh!