Im officially 13 weeks and 5 days along! On Thursday Ryan and I had a baby check and the little nugget is doing well. We got to hear the heart beat after some prodding around on my stomach, it was faint but we could still hear those 166 beats per minute. Doctor assured us as the baby and I get bigger it will be easier to hear the heartbeat. 13 weeks can be harder to find and hear but luckily she was able to find it. Ive gained a whopping 2 pounds so far but my belly is definitely growing. I started to notice around 9 weeks my belly popping out and by 10 and 11 it was becoming more evident. Im feeling amazing! The heat and humidity isn't fun, but Ive been managing it well. My energy is good but felt like it has been the whole time. Im still doing crossift 5-6 days a week and loving it. I have noticed though the days its been really hot and humid my energy crashes as soon as we start working out. I move slower but Im still moving and it feels really good to finish each workout even if I am last. There are days it is hard to see the girls lifting all the heavy weights I was used to lifting and really pushing themselves in their workouts but Im just happy to be there. One workout at a time! I've been trying to change my mind set for each workout and focus on form and movement and not so much strength. Ive also been trying to train my brain into thinking that after I have the baby and return to crossift that it will be the perfect opportunity to start over, start fresh. Work my way back up with weight and really perfect my form before tossing on all the heavy weights again. My goal is to continue my workouts as long as I can through out my pregnancy and to hopefully show others that you can workout while being pregnant, even crossfit!
Besides the physical changes I have also noticed a big internal change in myself. The term motherly instinct refers to and inborn tendency to want to protect and nurture one's offspring. Almost all mothers both human and animal alike eventually come to feel this way after they have a child. I however think for some women that maternal instinct kicks in while they are pregnant. I have this mama bear urge to protect this growing child inside of me and to protect my family. I noticed that I have started to view things differently about life and I also notice how others parent their children. Observing how people communicate with their children, how they discipline them and even how they carry themselves in front of their children. My friend Lauren and I had a conversation about how its vital to let your kids know that they are important and that they have your attention. That means not always having a set scheduled and really living in the moment with your kids. Putting your phone down, and taking time to actually be with your kids. We also talked about how as parents really needing to work on patience and that you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to parenting your kids. I don't want to be that nagging parent that is always yelling at their kids. Kids learn by example and one of the goals I have as a parent is to really watch what comes out of my mouth and even the tone in which I communicate.
Along with this maternal instinct I have also noticed this deep sense of peace in my life. I really feel that God has made a big change in my heart and that this growing belly is a contributing factor. A couple weeks ago Ryan and I were at his cousin's graduation party. She has made the brave decision to join the Army and will be leaving at the end of August for basic training. As I was looking at all of her pictures throughout her so far young life and then seeing photos of the day she enlisted I had tears welling up in my eyes. I started to think about how her parents will have to say goodbye to their first born daughter and let her spread her wings and fly. I thought about how every decision they helped her make throughout her childhood has lead her to this chapter in her life. It made me think about this growing baby inside of me and how Ryan and I will be on this journey soon. Raising a child to make the best decisions they can, protecting them as much as we can until we have to let them go. How fast those 18 precious years will go!
Maybe a month or so ago they had baptism at our church and 4 women stood up and gave their testimony and then were baptized. One of those four was a young girl in elementary school. I was in tears at everyone's testimony but when this little girl gave her testimony I was a mess, almost sobbing and definitely doing the ugly cry. To hear here speak about her love for the Lord and what he has done in her life so far was something I will never forget. Her parents have raised her so well and her faith will take her far in her life. This little girl made me think of our child and how teaching them about Jesus and faith at such a young age really does matter and really does influence them in their life. Ive always been a sensitive, emotional person but I think having this child will make me even more so. I think God is preparing my heart for a love I can't even comprehend yet.
I feel as if I am glowing inside and out. Dressing this baby bump is making me feel more beautiful then I ever have and I think its because of this peace I feel in my heart. I'm enjoying this pregnancy way more then I ever thought I would and even though its still early and Im not 9 months along I have a feeling I will miss these moments of watching my belly grow. In another month we will go back for another check up and at the end of August we will have our next ultrasound. Ryan and I spent Father's Day with both of our dad's and even got to sneak in some time with our Nephew Jack. Seeing Ryan and Jack together melts my heart. Jack was pretty quick to figure out how to climb up onto Ryan's lap and seeing them interact with each other makes me so excited to see our baby do the same. Ryan is going to be a great dad! We hope all of you enjoyed Father's Day and have been enjoying the start of summer!