Do you ever wonder why certain people are put in your path of this crazy thing called life? Do you ever wonder why some relationships end and some are life long? Im a big believer that God places people in your life at specific times. Im also a believer that every relationship good or bad is meant to be. As of lately these thoughts have been on my mind. I think about all the friendships I have had in my 30 years of life and as I have grown older, my circle of friends has become smaller. Life happens, people move, get married, have kids, all theses situations that slowly prevent you from spending time with friends. Then you have those situations where as you grow and mature, you realize that certain people no longer fit into your life. I have learned that the quantity of friendships you have in your life doesn't matter but the quality of those friendships does. Over this past year in our marriage God has definitely utilized certain people in our life to help guide and support us in our struggles. Even though we have worked through our struggles I still believe that God is putting people in our life but for different reasons now. Coming home from Canada I couldn't help but think that our trip was meant to be, not just for the experience alone but for the friendships we made on that trip.
Let me tell you about Jon and Patti, the owner of Rousseau's Landing. These two crazy kids hold a special spot in my heart. They are the type of people who would give you the shirt off their back, do anything for you, go above and beyond to make you feel comfortable and happy. They are the kind of people I strive to be more like, selfless and giving. We had the privilege of getting to know them over the week and got to hear about their life and many hunting adventures they have had together. As I sat there listening and laughing to their stories I couldn't help but think how much fun they have together and how much they like each other. Clearly they love each other but to like your spouse I believe is different. How many people in their relationship with their spouse have let that spark go. When you first meet someone you don't love them, you like them. Those initial exciting feelings of liking someone so much that you can't wait to keep getting to know them. Eventually that like turns to love.
My friend Carol always talks about how much she likes her husband and how much fun they have together and when you see them you can tell. She always tells me to never stop liking your husband. While in Canada Ryan and I had no tv, internet or cell service so at night after dinner what did we do, usually played cards and talked. Ryan and I have been together for 12 years and married for 6 and I still don't know everything about him. I enjoyed these quiet evenings at our cabin because it was just us having fun together. I obviously love my husband but I really really like him! I love that it can just be us going out to dinner and we have so much fun together and boy can that man make me laugh! Last night Ryan and I had a conversation about when we want to start over with IVF again but we also talked about the type of parents we want to be. Its clear that after you have kids life changes but Ryan and I both agree that quality time together is so important for our relationship even after kids. I see so many parents that sacrifice so much for their kids but to the point that their identity strictly becomes mom or dad and their marriage begins to suffer. Yes I know I don't have kids so I don't know what its like to be a mom but growing up I remember my parents having date nights, going to card club and going on trips while we had a babysitter. I admire my parents for this because it showed that my parents relationship was important. I never felt unloved or not payed attention to.
Keeping that spark alive is important in relationships. Ryan is my best friend and how awesome that I get to grow old with him. I always thought that I would be done having kids by the time I was thirty and now that I am thirty and have no kids I'm ok with it. I'm fully taking advantage of how awesome life is without kids and as I see my friends and family start their own family I get to watch them and figure out more what kind of parent I want to be. It definitely will be an adventure when and if kids happen for us but I believe God is placing people in our life to keep us on track with our relationship. We had moments where we didn't put our marriage first and it suffered and I'm so happy its no longer that way. So take it from this thirty year old kid never stop liking your spouse and having adventures. Take some time to enjoy each other, your marriage will thank you!