On Tuesday Ryan and I ventured through a Minnesota snow storm 80 miles one way to see our IVF doctor. We made it safe and sound, both had blood draws taken right away, I peed in a cup to make sure I wasn't pregnant already and then waited to see Dr. Corfman to have a Sonohysterogram done. Blood work was taken for both of us to make sure we didn't have any infectious diseases and for me to check my kidneys, liver and white blood cells to make sure it would be safe for me to start Metformin.
A Sonohysterogram is a procedure done where they inject a sterile saline into the cavity of my uterus to enlarge it. The saline outlines the endometrium (lining of my uterus) and allows for easy visualization and measurement. It also is used to identify any polyps or masses within my uterus. Basically they insert a catheter into my uterus that contains the fluid and also insert a vaginal ultrasound to be able to see what they are doing. So there we sat, me half naked with the sheet draped over me in a cold sweat of nerves and Ryan sitting there watching YouTube clips of the movie Grumpy Old Men. Man he is such a goof and makes me laugh at how know matter how many times he watches that movie he dies of laughter every time. I had an odd sense of nerves for this procedure, its all to familiar to me having it done multiple times before, but for some reason I just was concerned that they would find something. A polpy like they have before, twice, or a fear of the mild DNC I had done in May last year would lead to scar tissue or some rare thing. A fear of not being able to go through with IVF.
Ryan and I found out early on not only do we have fertility issues on Ryan's side due to his paralysis but also on my side due to my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I had a mild DNC performed due to a never ending cycle of bleeding, like month after month after month. Now some people may think Im going way to overboard with the oversharing department but oh well, fertility issues are more common these days and its ok to talk about them. The DNC did the trick and I was feeling like a normal human being again.
Dr. Corfman made his way to our room and gave me instant peace in saying I had nothing to worry about. Our time with Mayo Clinic had put such a bad taste in my mouth for IVF and basically anyone being up in my lady parts. I swear my lady parts are traumatized for all the crap they have gone through over the years. Dr. Corfman is AWESOME!! Man this doctor knows his stuff and is so incredibly gentle. As he put it himself God didn't give him hair on his head but he gave him gentle hands. He did the procedure with out any issues, I had zero discomfort and we got the all clear. Healthy uterus, healthy ovaries and no polyps!! The day before I had to start an antibiotic to prevent infection from happening with the solution they put inside of me and was happy that I could stop taking it since my procedure went well. The antibiotic was making me pretty sick and I wasn't able to eat much for those two days I was on it. I was able to ask Dr. Corfman a lot about the egg retrieval and embryo transfer, discuss things that went wrong at Mayo and things that gave me a lot of pain and he really gave me a sense of peace that we wouldn't have those issues this go around with him. So all around a good report!!
Tomorrow I will start Metformin, this is a common medication prescribed for women with PCOS. I will only be on this medication temporarily prior to my transfer. Basically its to help regulate my insulin, hormones and hopefully prevent my body from forming polyps. Ryan and I will venture back up in February for our injection class to learn once again how to give myself all the lovely hormone injections and then to go over my medication outline. So basically we begin the countdown to the start of my ovary stimulation end of February.
With our initial post about the start of this journey to baby buck or fingers crossed babies, we received an outpouring of love from all of our family, friends and followers. I can not thank you enough for all of the prayers and support. I feel God's love around us and in this journey and that brings me a sense of peace and comfort. Although I feel peace I still have fear. Fear in this matter comes from the fear of hearing those words of you can't have children or fear of going through this process and not getting pregnant, fear of what the hell do we do if that happens. If we don't become parents then what does our life have in store for us. Ryan tells me to not think negative, we have to stay positive and we don't need to go down that road until we cross it, if that happens. He's right I need to stay positive but I also need to get these thoughts out. I realize God has full control over this situation and that this fear I have is just the devils way of creeping in. I know there are others out there who can relate to me on this and my hope is that maybe by expressing my thoughts the support will come where I need it. Thank you thank you for all of the love!! Looking forward to February!
Before some people get all excited when they read this title, nope folks I'm not pregnant. I wish I could say I was, but Im here to tell all of you that we have officially begun the process of starting over with IVF. For those who need a recap or want to read about our struggles with infertility you can read that here, our-struggle-with-infertility.html.
Ryan and I have been discussing for a while now when would be the right time to try over with IVF. We knew getting through 2016 was a must, taking time to work on us as individuals and us as a couple. We fully took advantage of spending time together, doing what we wanted to do, when we wanted to do it. A couple weeks ago we had a consult with our IVF doctor in the cities. We saw Dr. Corfman a few years ago after we were unsuccessful with IVF through Mayo Clinic. The last visit with him, Ryan and I both had a good feeling when leaving his office. We liked him and his no bull shit way of doing things. We also liked that we felt very welcome there, it felt like a family and that gave us both a sense of peace, especially coming off of such a terrible experience with Mayo. Three years later leaving his office we felt exactly the same. We went over the whole process again, time line, cost and decided that it was now or never. After we left, Ryan and I headed to the Mall of America, finished up some Christmas shopping and had a nice dinner together. Reality started to sink in, sticker shock started to sink in and our dinner conversation was consumed with IVF talk, anxiety, fears, and excitement. I was nervous all morning for this consult appointment and then afterwards to it was like holy crap we are doing this again, am I ready to do this again, are we ready to do this again. Are you really ever ready to be a parent?? I dont think anyone can prepare you for what being a parent is like. I expressed my feelings to Ryan at dinner. Fears of the whole roller coaster of the IVF process, doing this all over again, spending all of this money for it to not work again. Fears of it putting a strain on our marriage like it did the first time and the fears of if we get pregnant what would our life be like, how would it affect our marriage, how would we be as parents. Ryan easily calmed my fears and expressed that we were in this together, our marriage is the strongest its ever been and that we just need to trust in God and His plans for us.
So here we are a couple days away from our first round of some pre testing before going through IVF. I started on birth control which is to help get my horomones all regulated and to help get on their time at our IVF clinic. Im not thrilled aobut being on birth control. Basically it makes me feel like crap and I just hate being on medication when I dont have to be, but its a small price to pay. I will be on this for a couple months prior to starting hormone injections to stimulate my ovaries to produce more eggs. Those said injections wont start until end of February and our fresh embryo transfer wont happen until end of March first part of April. There will be alot of prep work prior to the transfer and we plan to blog about this journey along the way. Its hard not keeping our IVF process a secret and it sucks that we dont get to be that couple that gets to have this big announcment to our family that we are expecting. We tried the first go around to not tell family and friends we were doing IVF but when things went south and I ended up having surgery it was just to big to keep a secret. We are hoping by sharing this process, this journey, we will have an added support system, that people will take a minute to say a prayer for us and that journaling about this will help ease my anxiety and stress that go along with it. Plus you can never have enough support!
Over the next couple months I plan to fully focus on kicking butt at crossfit, staying as healthy and active as I can be and enjoying our free time before our life is consumed with injections, blood draws, ultrasounds and endless doctors appointments. We found out that due to the Zika virus we wont be able to travel to the National Convention this year for Corn Growers. If the CDC were to report the virus in San Antonio while we were there are even afterwards our transfer would have to be postponed for six months. In December the virus was reported 3 hours south of San Antonio, so we basically dont want to chance it. Again another small price to pay. We are nervous yet very excited to be starting this process over again. The start of 2017 will sure be an adventure! Stay tuned!